This letter is intended to show our appreciation to you, dear consumer (insert your name here) of your continued purchase of gas for your vehicle. As you know, the price of oil has fluctuated madly in the last several months, but true to Canadian spirit you have taken it in stride, bravo!
While some citizens of hot headed countries may launch public protests to the cost of gas, you, dear Canadian, have stoically dished out your hard earned money to keep your vehicle on the road. Oh there have been complaints, letters to newspapers protesting the high cost of gas, but on the whole you have been generously understanding of our need to make lots of money at your expense.
Some of you have kept track of the prices of oil, when it went up and also, unnecessarily really, when it went down, and some of you who shall remain nameless cretins have had the audacity to claim that the price of gas should be considerably less than what it is. It’s people like you that take the joy out of discovering that yesterday’s price of $1.39 a liter is now down to $1.34 today. You should rejoice, instead, these sour malcontents point out that the fluctuation in oil prices should result in the price of gas being $1.10 a liter. What nonsense. How would we be able to meet those million dollar profit margins if we allowed that? Hmmmm??
We are just poor regular Joes trying to make it in this world. Why, we haven’t redecorated our
Our business of gouging the Canadian public is a very stressful job. Surely, you understand that in order for us to stay healthy we need those expensive European vacations several times a year. Now, we don’t mean to complain about our hard lot in life, but we felt you should hear our side of the story. Your continued
With loving gratitude
The elite heads of the major oil companies.


